Unwraping Germany (not finished, but you deserve an update.)

Sometimes, when I go to Barn's and Nobel, I ask them to gift wrap my purchases. Not because they are actually gifts, but because I like feeling like I get a lot of presents. When I get home I open them loudly and exclaim to the room at large that I always know what to get myself. I'm so great at knowing what to get me.
I kind of feel like Germany is one of those gifts. Except when I asked for the cashier to wrap my purchase they swapped out my second-hand paperback edition for a hardcover jewel-embellished anniversary edition with added interviews, pictures and soundtrack. I thought I knew what I'd purchased, and was excited to read the story no matter what the cover was, or how dog-eared the pages were, but the more wrapping I remove the more I realize how incredibly wonderful what I've received is.
More on feelings and stuff like that later. I believe many of you would like to know the tale of the first guest family. So... here we go!

The morning after I found the picture I had to take a placement test. I could barely concentrate. All I could think about was the picture. I really didn't feel like I did that well on my test. We had to do a grammar and speaking portion. I've always found speaking easier. I don't second guess myself as much. After all of my classmates and I had finished, I knew I needed to talk to someone about the events of the night before, or I would spontaneously-combust or turn into a pigeon or something like that. I went into the computer lab and saw Craig. Craig is someone I respect a great deal. He took a German course his second semester and decided that it was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He's from Weeping Water and eats his vegetables. I made eye contact with him and rushed over. I began laughing. I don't really know why. As I pulled the picture out of my pocket I laughed so hard I started crying. I think it might just have been the stress. To be honest I was terrified, but the whole thing just seemed so preposterous. He asked me what it was. I told him about how I'd found it in front of my door at one in the morning after I came back from the bathroom. He asked me if it was a joke. I told him I didn't know, but that I didn't think so. Craig has great facial expressions. He threw a priceless one in my general direction. Another American, Brian, looked over. Brian intimidates the (insert the curse word of your choice) out of me. He's a really good student, plays the guitar, has a lip ring, good sense of style and a beautiful girlfriend named Taylor. He wants to be professor, and has a way of looking at you that makes you feel like you've done something wrong. I always feel like I'm annoying him. He asked what the picture was. I started explaining, and started laughing again. I just couldn't believe what was happening. I'm pretty sure I looked like I was going mad. A few more people looked over and asked, eventually attracting the attention of my teacher Sheri. Sheri I pretty rockin. More on her later. Anyway she saw the picture and rushed me into Frau Radka's office. Frau Radka is like the Vice Principle of the school. That's the best way I know how to describe it. She looks like a tall blond version of the woman who designed the outfits for the family in the Pixar movie The Incredibles. I explained the situation to her in mixture of stuttered German and word vomit English. I told her I didn't want trouble, and if I could I wanted to go back to Klaus and Carola. She took the picture and said she was going to call my guest mother. I was shaking uncontrollably. I needed to do something or I was going to go stark raving mad.
Luckily Kyle, yet another student, needed to go to the ATM and asked if I'd like to accompany him. Kyle is a mechanical engineering major. He's an RA and his personality is perfect for it. It's almost impossible to be uncomfortable around him. He's from Chicago, plays guitar, knows Monty Python and loves his home city. You can tell by the way he talks about it. As we walked I told him the story. He told me I needed to take a picture with four knives and put it under her door. That made me laugh and calmed me more than anything else had. I seriously considered it. The ATM didn't work. When we got back all the new students watched a small presentation about Berlin. I sat next to a nice girl from Switzerland. Her name is Zoe. We received maps and lots of directions that were spoken in a German that was to fast for me to understand. I smiled and nodded. We then had a lunch break. I went to a place that sells Doenners. They're kind of like a Turkish gyero, but not. I got french fries, because they were cheep and I was to nervous to eat that much. After lunch I got pulled into Frau Radka's office again. She has spoken with my host mother. Apparently the picture was a joke between the mother and the daughter. It was hanging on the wall and must have fallen when I went to the bathroom. I was still a little suspicious and uncomfortable, but said I would go back that night.
After everything was finished at the school we, the American students, went to a bar with my teacher Sheri. She bought the first round. I got Berliner Pilz , I believe, which was a light beer and was very bitter. We all passed our drinks around to try everyone's. I learned I like dark beer better. It's heavier and more sweet. I sat next to Craig, Wesley, Maria and Chris. Chris is 26, the oldest of our group. I had lots of questions about beer, he answered them all. He was very patient with me. He likes Regina Spektor. Maria is crazy interesting. She's studying classics. I plan on asking her a ridiculous amount of questions. She's brilliant really. Wesley is from my Niehart group of friends. He's studying German and English. He's always willing to help me with Grammer if I need it. I'm glad he's here. Finally Craig, but I already told you about him. I drank about half of my beer and could go no further. I don't think I'll ever be that good of a drinker. I'm just not that interested in it. After a good hour or two I left the bar with Craig, because we live close to each other and I wasn't that comfortable with public transportation. We then proceeded to get ridiculously lost. I really think I have a talent for that. We walked around for about an hour and a half before we figured out we could take the U-bahn where we needed. He was supposed to get off four stops before me but went the rest of the way with me because I wasn't that comfortable. What a gentleman. I'm so lucky to have such nice people to travel with.
When I got home my house mother was waiting for me. She had a box of cookies for me and a hug. She showed me where the picture used to hang. There was a note on the wall that explained the picture. It said, in German obviously, that if her (the daughter's) mom didn't start knocking on the door before she opened it that this would happen. It then had an arrow pointing to where the picture was supposed to be. My host mom felt terrible.
When Kathi (the daughter) got home from school. We played a German word game together, and I gave her the present I had brought for her. It was stickers with English slang, pens and a stuffed Mikey Mouse. She loved it. We ate a quiet supper of salad. (They are vegetarians.) And then I was exhausted and decided to go to bed.
The next day I woke to an empty cold house. Both the mother and daughter leave early in the morning. I ate something they call Musli for breakfast. It's similar to granola. I put on my backpack and coat and left to catch the S-bahn. When I got to school I discovered I had done better on my test than I had planned. I expected to place in A2 but instead I had placed in B1B. I was really surprised. The students in my class that were also from America had all taken at least 203 at UNL. The last class I had finished was 201. I was nervous but I figured if I had done that well in the speaking part I could handle it. The first three hours were challenging but not impossible. I ate lunch at the Doenner place again with the rest of the Americans. Then we went back to the school for the Intensive course that lasts an hour and a half. The first thirty minutes were full of vocab I didn't know but figured I could learn. Then she handed us a work sheet full of German grammar problems. She went to make copies. I looked down. I hand no idea what the paper was telling me to do. It isn't very often that I'm 100% clueless in a class. I hate feeling like I don't understand. I tried to find an exercise I could do. I looked around and everyone else in the class was filling out the worksheet with apparent ease. I don't know why, but everything, I mean everything, hit me at that moment. My baggage was lost for four days, I got here a day and a half later, the closest good friend was four hours away, my host family was uncomfortable and cold, and finally, something that I usually do pretty decent at if I try, school, was failing me. I felt all of my efforts to remain calm and not freak-out for the last week melting. I'd been telling myself that even if all else failed I would still have fun at school and learn a lot. I broke. Three tears fell down my face before every single person in that classroom came to my rescue. They told me it would be okay, and other standard things you say when someone is upset. Wesley told me he would tutor me and that I could borrow his grammar book. He then handed me my water bottle, told me it was empty, which was half true, and to go fill it. I went to the staircase and ran up three flights. I don't know why, but there's something calming to me about running. My heart and breath slowed and I no longer had to worry about holding tears back. I walked back down, filled my water bottle, and went back to the room. I then had to do something that is one of the hardest things for me to do ever. I had to admit I didn't have a clue, and no matter how I tried I couldn't figure it out. I had to admit I failed. I felt very ashamed, I realize it's not logical, but still I felt like I had just completely lost the respect of the majority of my classmates. I had become that girl. The one who over-reacts to everything. True I enjoy being theatrical at times, but I cannot handle the idea of being seen as weak. It still bothers me that that happened.
I went back to my house after school because I was not yet all the way unpacked. It was hard for me to really feel like I could settle there. It was just uncomfortable for some reason. Even though I knew there was nothing to fear, I still felt weird about the place. I can't properly describe it.
When I got home my guest mother was waiting for me yet again. She said that we needed to talk after dinner. I nodded curtly and went into my room. I tried to unpack more but couldn't. I collapsed on my bed and felt wave after wave of emotion wash over me. It was exhausting. I think I would have sold one of my kidneys at that moment just to see a friend and get a hug. I really needed one.
Dinner time arrived and I could feel the weight in every motion I made. It was a fight just to move. Our dinner was pizza with basil and tomatoes. It was delicious, but I couldn't appreciate it. I couldn't really appreciate anything at that moment. Kathi, the daughter told me about her day, she had spent it with her father. Her parents are divorced. She's a fairly quiet girl, but I honestly do believe she's a good person.
After dinner Janika told Kathi to go to her room. She sighed deeply and then began. She is a mother to her core, and speaks the way a mother speaks. She told me that at first she was okay with the whole picture situation. She said she understood my reaction and my reasons for not immediately coming to her about the picture. I told her I now understood the situation and wasn't scared any more. It was going pleasantly, she told me she thought I was a sweet girl, and I told her I thought she was a fascinating person. I thought everything in the conversation was going great, and then all of the sudden the tides changed. She told me she had talked to Frau Radka that day, and that some of the teachers had said that their students were talking about what had happened to me. She then got very emotional. She told me she was just coming to realize the potential consequences of this whole event. She told me her daughter was a sweet girl who meant no harm to anyone. I told her I believed that was true. Janika said, with a kind of look in her eyes I don't quite know how to describe, that she was afraid for her daughter. She was afraid for her reputation. The director of the school had called and she was going to have to go in and prove her daughter was not crazy and a good person. I know she didn't mean for it to happen, but it made me feel so guilty. If it wasn't for me this would have never happened. As she talked my heart broke for her. I would have never intentionally caused another human that much anguish.
I sat their in my ever deepening, almost smothering, pool of not so pleasant emotions, when all the sudden the tide changed again. I did not know there could be three tides in a conversation, now I know better. All of a sudden she straightened, looked me harshly in the eyes and said she knew about the other guest family. I sat there for a moment completely lost. The kitchen clock ticked the seconds away while I rummaged through my thoughts as fast as I could trying to figure out what she was talking about. She told me that Frau Radka had told her about Klaus and Carola. The light in my brain flicked on. She asked me what was going on with that situation. I told her the truth. That I had dearly loved the first family I had stayed with. I also told her that they had said if I had wanted to I could come back and stay with them. Something very strange happened then. I am not used to having people not trust me. She looked at me with a look of pure disappointment and suspicion. She told me she believes in signs, and that the fact that our beginning was so rough might be prophetic as to what was to come. She said that if I really wanted to go back to Klaus and Carola I should have just said so, the picture wasn't necessary. If I wasn't happy I could go.
That is the hardest slap across the face I have ever received. I honestly think she was accusing me of taking the photo just so I could return to my original host family. I have rarely felt so hurt. She continued, and stated that she didn't know if she could live comfortably with me. The whole situation was simply too weird. I agreed. We spoke for a little while longer until I felt like I couldn't stay awake one more minute. The next day I went in and spoke to Frau Radka. I told her I wanted to return to the first place I had stayed. I stated that I had liked the second family but that everything was just to strange for me to stay there comfortably now. I spoke to the director next. I told him that I didn't think Kathi honestly wanted to kill me, but that the whole situation was just one giant misunderstanding. I told him there was no need to speak with Janeka, and that everything was honestly okay. I felt like that was the best I could do to try to fix feelings with Janeka.
Frau Radka called Carola and Klaus, and they said they could pick me up at 6:00pm. It is unreal, how fast I was able to pack. I gave Janeka the gift I had bought for her before I left. It was a black hills gold necklace. I told her I hoped everything went well for her, and that I was sorry for any trouble I had caused her, it was all unintentional.
And then I heard one of the happiest sounds in the world. The doorbell rang. There stood Sarah my host sister, looking adorable as normal, and outside was Carola wearing a white coat and holding a glowing cigarette. I cannot find a word in the English language that sufficently translates my emotions at that moment. I ran to them and hugged them both. Well, I tried to hug them, I had two backpacks on, which made it a little more complicated. We loaded my baggage in the car and headed towards my new home.
Sitting in the Sperlings car driving through Berlin, I was filled with about every positive emotion you can name. It felt like I had left all the negative in the puddle in front of Janeka's apartment. I fell in love with Berlin all over again. I was staying with wonderful people who liked me, and loved their city. We chatted happily all the way back to the apartment. I told them what had happened. They were a very good audience. They gasped and looked distraught at all the right places. It was wonderful. When we got up to the apartment Klaus was waiting at the door with a huge hug for me. They all told me how happy they were that I had come back. I can't even begin to describe to you how much I needed that. I could have cried with happiness. The fed me and petted me(they are a lot more touchy-feely than I'm used to, but I'm coming to love it), and sent me to bed. For the first time in what felt like months I lay under warm covers on soft pillows and sighed to myself, 100% relaxed, and then had one of the best night sleeps of my entire life.
That my dearies is the tale of the super-complicated-awkward-uncomfortable-family-swap. Now we go onto things that have been much less stressful and much more fun.
When I awoke the next morning I was still overflowing with happy. Klaus and Carola were waiting at the kitchen table for me so that we could begin breakfast. Breakfast hear is very different than Americans are used to. Usually it's fresh bread rolls cut in half with slices of meat or cheese and nutella. Kind of like an open face sandwich. Also crazy awesome yogurt, and musli, which is similar to granola. Breakfast is probably my favorite meal of the day. It's always delicious.
School was challenging but not nearly so scary the next day. I got on the wrong tram, but lucky saw Brian at one of the stops and met up with him. He was very helpful. Even though he intimidates the heck out of me, he's still a very nice person. I came home and unpacked a little and then set about doing my history homework. I was having troubles so I went out to ask Klaus to help me define a word. He got very excited. Now everyday we do my homework together. I think he loves being a teacher. I'm doing very good in history now thanks to him.
Carola is an awesome cook. I really think I'm going to become a whale. When I told her I enjoyed cooking she told me we could make a cook book together. I loved the idea. So far we've made a strawberry torte, stuffed peppers, and quite a few things I don't know the English words for. Again, I think I might need a new belt.
Every Thursday night the Museum on Museum Island are free. The first Thursday night we went as a group. We began with the Pergamon Museum. There were all sorts of fascinating things there. I saw ancient Egyptian sarcophagi, the bust of Nefertiti, Roman armor, and a blur of other fascinating things. I am very slow at going through museums. I plan on going every Thursday.
On Friday school gets out at 12:30 so I went with a group of Americans and two Brazilians to a small restaurant just around the corner from our school. The Brazilians were Leonardo and Edwarda. No joke.
I ordered a glass of wine with my meal, and it definitely went to my head. The food was tasty and the people very plesant. All in all a very good meal I would say.
That night I went with my host sister, her boyfriend, Beth, Molly, and Kaylee to a hookah bar. That night I learned that hookah makes me crazy tired. That night... I learned a lot.
I have discovered that I am the most boring partier in the world. After about three quarters of my drink I just get kinda quite and really interested in table cloths and humming and stuff like that. I don't think anyone really pays enough attention to table cloths. Well, except my mom. But really, they can be quite interesting. Trust me, I know these things.
On Saturday I got completely settled and hung out with my host family. On Sunday we tried out the Methodist church close to where I live. To put it simply, it was very strange.
The next week went by fast. A group of us went to a bar on Tuesday called Studio 54. I really like the design of the place.


Forget this I'll finish it later!

Sometimes I honestly don't feel like I'm speaking a foreign language. It just kind of flows. Its hard, but hard the way it's hard to come up with the right word in a tense situation.